I leave the room and everyone takes a deep breath

It's time for me to write. I didn't sleep very well last night. I even got into my work out clothes to sleep in. I put my alarm clock/phone in my bag across the room so I'd have to get up to turn it off.

But I just didn't sleep well. I had to keep listening to audio books, which isn't so bad, but I was stressed out about my getting enough sleep. I mostly have a sleep surplus. I sleep by myself and am relatively unbothered during the night. I can deal with one day of poor sleep. It's two days that starts to get to me. So, at some point in the evening, I made an executive decision that I wouldn't get up at five and go to the track. It's just so GD cold and so warm under the covers.

So once again I've gravely disappointed myself. Unfortunately, I'm getting so used to it. From now on, I should just tell myself I'm not going to do any morning workouts. Period. End of story why try? If it happens spontaneously it will be a wonderful thing, but if not? So it goes.

I finished Running with Scissors last night. I liked his epilogue and requested Dry from the library so I should receive that any day to start on. I want to know what happens! What a terrible family. I don't like them and I'd run away and far too. I don't like messy people who vandalize and are rude. I guess I'm an uptight square but I'm willing to own up to that.

The house is waking up. I should take a shower now if I'm really smart. What I really need to do is put the headphones on. I think I smell like sweat from sleeping in my dirty work out clothes. God I'm a slob! I'm probably one of those people who always smells bad but doesn't know it! I've got halitosis and body odor and no one wants to sit next to me in a theater but everyone's too polite to say anything. I leave the room and everyone takes a deep breath.

After finishing Running with Scissors, I cracked open Welty's The Optimist's Daughter. Man, that's a downer. I wasn't feeling it so just skipped to the end. So, I didn't really read it. There wasn't enough story for me. A good book has to be half poetry half story. Or 75% story and 25% poetry. All the King's Men is 80% prose poetry. I've never read a better-crafted book. What a book! Well, I've read a ton of great books. But that one just brings tears to my eyes with the writing.

This morning, I took the mug Chris gave me off the shelf to put my coffee in. I was never that crazy about it, but my boyfriend gave it to me so I dutifully used it. But now, he's no longer my boyfriend. I put it back on the shelf and used the Starbucks mug GI Joe sent me from Kuwait. I like that one a lot. I like the humor in it. I like the story. I like things with stories.

Today, I'm going down to I__ and then I'm going to try to go to that Women's meeting. I need to make more friends. I need to get out into the world and not sit in front of the computer or the television screen. I sent out some marketing emails yesterday and got a small nibble. An extremely kind photographer told me that he sometimes was swamped with some little jobs that maybe I could help him with. And at the end of the conversation, he just thanked me for the great conversation. It always heartens me to talk to really kind people.

Right now, I'm listening to the Moon and Sixpence. The Gauguin character is a big asshole and there's this other character who is just way too nice to him. He's treated poorly by the Gauguin character but keeps taking it. I hope that I don't take stuff like that.