There was a K-9 unit on the train. The officer looked like Lou Diamond Phillips but I didn't want to be creepy and push my luck.


Sitting here at 4:00 pm on a Sunday afternoon; it's raining and getting dark outside.

Had a great weekend! Yesterday, I headed out into the world at about 11:00 am. Walked down 145th to the ACBD train station (picked up a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich at 145th and Amsterdam?). I love my neighborhood. Was at Harlem 125th Metro North within 45 minutes. Well within the amount of time. Read my counseling textbook all the way to Brewster--the chapter on Existential Psychology.

Lr picked me up at the Station and we headed to Niantic, CT, which is near the ocean. It was about a two-hour drive but I'd made some xmas cds for us to listen to. Those went over well. We stopped at an outdoor bookstore called the Book Barn that had free coffee and donuts. I only bought one book (I was overwhelmed) but she bought several books.

Then, we went to her friends house. It was like Martha Stewart. Very homey but lovely presentation. We stuffed ourselves on the cooking; the Paula Dean corn pudding was my favorite with many of the pastries close seconds. Everything was homemade so I felt no guilt. What a treat! When do I get home cooking like that?

Lr was smoking cigarettes outside (she's a bad girl). Smoking cigarettes with Lr outside has always been one of life's pleasures so I had a camel light--with the filter ripped in half like I used to. I can't remember the last time I had a cigarette. Must have been last year when I bought that pack during grad school and smoked them out my window. This was more pleasurable. It gave me quite a kick and buzz. I had to lean up against the house because there was no where to sit. It was cold and rainy out.

I spent the night on the couch and this morning she made scrambled eggs with cheddar bacon muffins. What a delicious breakfast. I'm still not all that hungry. I kind of wanted to hit the road, though. She drove me home and they continued on to the East Village to visit the Puerto Rican trading company. I used to buy beans from there YEARS ago when I lived on Allen Street. I could get a pound of coffee for about $4.99 or $5. Those days are long gone. So it goes.

I showered and logged into the computer. I'm still not all that hungry. I need to go to the grocery store and buy lunch meat for my lunch tomorrow. I thought I maybe should cook or something, but I'm so lazy and may just do Taco Bell for dinner. I have stuff around here so could also just do vegetables and rice with beans. I don't want to prepare a thing.

I don't like the cards I bought this past year. So it goes.


It's Saturday morning; I've gotten a lot accomplished. No running today. Who knows if that may have been contributing to the insanity the past couple years. Maybe I need to go back to running.

Yesterday, P and I were alone in the office. She asked me about Chandi foods up on 29th street--where I go for lunch and love. She said she wanted some Indian comfort food. At 2:00 pm, we put on our coats. She asked, "Should we shut the office door?" We shut--and locked--the door. We had no key. We shrugged our shoulders and went to lunch.

She's vegetarian and I ordered what she ordered. We sat and talked.

We walked back to the office and P got the key from the 11th floor and we got back to work. Boyfriend headed off to Italy yesterday. I got a couple emails from him.

Came home and read about Adler on the subway. I should have gotten up and read more of the textbook but I did not. I sent out my recommendation forms this morning and got that off my plate. What a relief. This may all be over for now--to start up the madness next fall. I'll have to put that in God's hands.

I read something that journaling is just rumination. It just reinforces the madness. I know that's true. Distraction is key.


Last night was the first night in four nights I spent at home. I went to bed and it was roasting but it cooled off; I guess super turned off the heat. It's quite pleasant right now with the heat off. It's warm out because it's rainy weather. I have the feeling the temperature will plummet some time during today.

Things are shaping up with me. I started the application process for the program.

Had a good and long weekend. On Friday night, I went to Jersey and we ate at the Blue Moon restaurant. We then went back to Gvnni's to watch and episode or two of The Event. I'm not that crazy about the series, but Gvnni likes it. On Saturday, we came back into the city so that he could do the training and I could run a ton of little errands.

When he got back from training, we went to the Subway for a sandwich and shared it at my little table for two. Then, we headed back into Jersey where we watched more episodes of The Event and Gvnni ended up watching all five episodes; he didn't have any episodes to watch on Sunday night. On Saturday night, we went to the Indian restaurant again. It has fantastic food, but the service is a little odd. The first time we went, we were ignored and had to beg for menus. This time, our food came with no spoons of any kind (and a lot of drippy gravies and curries).

On Sunday, we drove into the city again to attend the New York Public Library open house. We shared a Subway sandwich ahead of time, which turned out to be pointless. When we got there, the affair was heavily catered and there was too much food. We met my friend in line and she had brought her camera. She says she brings it everywhere. Gvnni had a good time; he loved the food and enjoyed looking at the building and the paintings.

When we left, we walked through the Bryant Park Christmas fair. Then, we walked up Fifth Avenue to the Abercrombie and Fitch store (which is a hell mouth). He wanted to buy some clothes for his niece. The shopping bag had a naked male torso on it so I offered to carry the bag for him. When we got to Columbus Circle, he wanted to stop at Grom--the gelato place. Typically, he doesn't stop for sweets and we'd been eating all afternoon. He'd had a couple of glasses of wine to boot. No worries! I enjoyed.

I like talking about myself with people who love and care about me; I hate having to do small talk about myself in social situations. I just don't care about talking about my career (photoretouching) and school (which is a major stresser).

When I got back into the city, Gvnni texted me that he wasn't going to training and did I want to hang out! I said I wasn't going to Jersey, but he could come into the city and we could go to Dinosaur BBQ at 9:00 pm. He picked me up and had a great meal.