tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148140012024-03-23T13:47:10.039-04:00An Americana's Life in ItalyMaulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.comBlogger411125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-16527576865641606832016-08-24T10:05:00.001-04:002017-03-23T08:00:14.100-04:00Sweet dance moves!<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5RQsZK3NWXI/V72pqFFm6_I/AAAAAAAAG0Y/HQzNp_b8yfkG3nFKbD2ksN_HU_fbazuOACK4B/s1600/Image-1-727984.jpg"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5RQsZK3NWXI/V72pqFFm6_I/AAAAAAAAG0Y/HQzNp_b8yfkG3nFKbD2ksN_HU_fbazuOACK4B/s320/Image-1-727984.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6322395992283343858" /></a></p>Farmer in the Dell<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.bloglines.com/sub/http://maulleigh.blogspot.com">
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-20810016420319427352016-08-01T14:11:00.000-04:002017-03-23T08:00:14.109-04:00Poor bear<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-W2jE64Al2GY/V5-RAr5r9BI/AAAAAAAAGng/1M3VX2UBoFYajf8H1wpQQLchdOCWbBHKACK4B/s1600/IMG_1356-737476.JPG"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-W2jE64Al2GY/V5-RAr5r9BI/AAAAAAAAGng/1M3VX2UBoFYajf8H1wpQQLchdOCWbBHKACK4B/s320/IMG_1356-737476.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6313924643567432722" /></a></p>"Poor bear. Don't worry. Your grandfather will fix it."
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<br>She said, after snapping his legs off. He'd already been decapitated and that's where she got that sentence.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.bloglines.com/sub/http://maulleigh.blogspot.com">
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-22184656519836904892016-05-03T07:29:00.000-04:002016-05-03T07:29:01.925-04:00<div class="mobile-photo">
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Went into Anna's room to see where she was.
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Here she is saying, "Cheese!"<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.bloglines.com/sub/http://maulleigh.blogspot.com">
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-46000656945330434412016-04-29T06:16:00.001-04:002016-04-29T06:16:22.154-04:004/27/2016<div dir="ltr">
Melanie and I had a good morning. I picked her up after I dropped off Anna. We went in her car to the Lidl which was right next to a McDonald's with a play area. I must make a mental note for the future!!<br />
The Lidl was fun. I didn't know what to expect. It's German so therefore better than anything Italian in my eyes. I bought a bunch of stuff and didn't end up spending a lot, either. First, though, we went to coffee. There was a cafe and I'm always up for a cup but now I'm a little awake. Anna is awake in her crib these days. It's impossible to get her to sleep and then it's impossible to get her to wake up. Yesterday afternoon, she didn't go to sleep until 3:00 and then I ended up waking her up at 4:00 pm. I ended up just skyping with mom and dad in the living room. I was nervous about Anna going to sleep at her usual time, but it wasn't a problem. I put her in her room with some stories on repeat and she loved that. <br />
Finally I got her to sleep at 2:00 pm. It's cold around here. It's sunny and bright but the wind is strong and cold. It's rattling the shutters. Giovanni is going to the states on Saturday morning. He says it's like a holiday for me.</div>
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-62644046272963846092016-04-29T06:15:00.001-04:002017-03-23T07:58:32.839-04:00Cute Anna<div dir="ltr"><div><div><div><div>This morning, while I was putting a fresh diaper on Anna, she was babbling as she typically does when she said, "Non nella bocca, Francesco!!"<br><br></div>When I went to the daycare, Monica told me that there was, indeed, a kid named Francesco and he does put things in his mouth!!<br></div><br>***<br><br></div>This morning, I had to go to the bathroom, so I made a BIG DEAL about sitting on the potty and making faces, etc.<br><br></div>Anna came running up and said, "Spinge!! Spinge!!!" (push! push!)<br><div><div><div><div><br><br></div></div></div></div></div> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.bloglines.com/sub/http://maulleigh.blogspot.com">
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Had a good morning. It was short and sweet. Anna had daycare but I had no school. It's a holiday so the schools are closed. Thank God Helen told me that at my Birthday party on Sunday (that went very well, thank you). <br />
This morning, I dropped Anna off at 8:50 and then picked up Melanie and her son, Julian, at around 9:20. We were running late because Anna did a poo right as we were about to walk out the door.<br />
We drove to Collegno where the subway ends and parked the car; there's a ton of parking there so you don't have to worry. We took the subway in and then took a bus to Piazza Solferino? to a French Market that's there at Christmas, too. <br />
It was just getting started when we arrived at 10. Almost no one was there except for the vendors so we were able to look at all the things without too much bother. We bought some stuff. I bought some smelly stuff for the bathrooms: a vanilla cat for Giovanni's bathroom and a little green Verbena turtle for my bathroom. Let's see if they stink up the joint. Probably not. 10 euro down the drain.<br />
Then, Julian wanted to go to the main Piazza so we walked over there, but we stopped for a cafe on the way and took some pictures. It's really great to walk around Turin and I'm more in my element when I'm in a city. Although Turin is nothing like New York. It's an old city and it was still pretty quiet.<br />
We went to the main Piazza where I bought some postcards. Then, it was time to get back on the streetcar and metro and come home. I was just in time to pick up Anna at daycare.<br />
I think I'm going to record a couple books for Anna. Last night, to put her to sleep, I put my recording of "Green Eggs and Ham" on in her room on repeat. She likes that. It didn't put her to sleep, however. I went in there and got it out and she didn't protest. She loves the "Say! In the Dark? Could you would you in the dark?" I guess I had a particular way of saying it and she repeated it like that one day. So now I go over the top with it and even let her read that page when we get to it. My God she's so great. A pain in the tukhes no doubt but just great. This morning, we read "Goodnight Moon" and she knew some words.<br />
No plans for this afternoon although I probably should clean up this place. Giovanni cleaned up after the party. He was really a great help. He insisted on using real glassware instead of the phoney baloney plastic cups that I bought at the Auchan. He was right; it was more classy. I should buy some at the consignment shop.<br />
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This morning, I had an espresso instead of a regular coffee and maybe I should just do that from now on. Maybe the Borg is sucking me in.</div>
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-16539868063589548102016-04-21T06:12:00.001-04:002016-04-21T06:12:39.157-04:004/21/2015<div dir="ltr">
It's my sister's birthday today. I'm not on Facebook so I can't wish her Happy Birthday there. I sent her a card through my mother. I hope that she gets it today (probably). Who knows what they're up to today. I'm one of those jerks not on Facebook so I don't know what's going on in peoples lives.<br />
Yesterday afternoon, I took Anna over to Joleen's house. Basically Via Buttigliera Alta but on the other side of town. They do that here: have a billion different names for the same damn street. Whatever. As long as google maps has it figured out. <br />
She has a lovely house that is pretty big and well furnished. Turns out, like everything else in Italy, it belongs to her MIL but her MIL moved to another apartment to give them space. So Joleen had very little to do with the interior and its look. They have a sidewalk that goes all around the house so we did a couple laps following Anna. Anna had a great time with Enzo and Linda's toys and they were pretty good about sharing and not getting in her way. First, Anna just played in the yard which was all enclosed like all yards in Italy. She had a good time getting into everything and looking at the beautiful flowers.<br />
Then, when Joleen's MIL showed up with the kids, we all went into the kitchen and had nutella croissants. Joleen's kid speak Italian and Chinese so I couldn't speak much English with them like I can with everyone else's kids. So it goes. They're adorable, though. Joleen's English is pretty good so we had a good time. She showed me where thieves tried to break into their house by beating on the bricks with a hammer. Yikes! This country!! It's because Italians have so much cash laying around their houses. I guess it's worth it for the thieves.<br />
She invited me to a puppet show today at the Oratorio. I'll probably go but Anna probably won't sit still. I learned my lesson during "Toddler Time" at the SF Park Branch library. *sigh*<br />
This morning there was school and it was Lino's birthday. Giovanni took the day off in order so we could all go fireplace shopping across town. <br />
I sent Lino a message telling him I wasn't going to be there but Helen called me anyway from class asking me if everything was okay. I don't think that anything was resolved at the fireplace store but I got a better idea of what it's going to look like and not look like. I thought it was going to be flush with the wall, but it's not. Because we don't have a chimney like our other houses. *sigh* So we're going to have a big fireplace that protrudes into the room. Phooey. I said it's not going to work well with our enormous couch and Giovanni said we'd get rid of the couch and my heart broke into a million pieces because the couch isn't perfect but it's our couch and we had it specially made so Giovanni could lie down completely.<br />
I just sent Giovanni an email saying we could put our enormous couch up on the second floor. I have no idea how the hell our house is going to shape up. It's not a money pit, but it costs money!! <br />
Anna was okay last night but not great. She had some nasty coughing fits after I put her down to sleep that made her cry. They sounded horrible but she managed to sleep pretty okay for the rest of the night and we all got enough sleep. She doesn't have the nasty coughing fits during the day.<br />
Not much else to report. Giovanni is going away for a week and is preparing himself for that. I made chili last night.<br />
</div>
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I get this feeling that I'm not in charge of my life anymore, but it's just about daily pleasures. I have no career goals anymore; that's out the window. Forget a career as I know it and I haven't had any calling here in Italy at all. My Italian is still terrible and I have little to no excuses after a year and a half. You get out what you put into it. Of course I compare myself with women who have Italian husbands who probably speak Italian to them all the time. I compare myself to women who have been here for decades.</div>
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There's a roundabout right near the daycare that is being worked on. They have temporary traffic lights installed. It's weird that I live in Italy. I wish I lived in a more metropolitan area. I wish Giovanni and I could go out to eat every night like we used to in Manhattan and Jersey. I liked that. There's a big difference between going out to eat every night at a restaurant at 8:00 and having to cook dinner for someone else at 8:00 every night.</div>
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Giovanni took the day off and is now at Yoga. He called me to tell me that he may have gotten a speeding ticket because he got clocked going over 100 km an hour on Corso Susa. He has a lot of points on his patente, but it's not good to lose points. <br />
This morning, I took Anna to daycare a little late. I was pushing 9:30. Then, I drove to pick up Melanie. She had bags full of old clothes and things she wanted to sell at the consignment shop. I wanted to see what there was.<br />
We found the place and parked. It's in the same building as the lazer tag place; her Scottish friend, Jennie, and her husband own the building. Or her husband owns the building; it used to be a factory and was empty for a long time before the lazer tag place. Melanie was able to sell some stuff but not half as much as she would have liked. It was interesting to see the array of things they had for sale. They had two Barbies in the original packaging for 10 euro apiece which is really startling as you can get brand-new Barbies at the Auchan for less than that--or at least these boring-type Barbies. <br />
They had furniture and decorations and plates and housewares and everything. I took pictures of all the things I liked and ended up buying an old colander in great shape, a wicker basket to put diaper stuff in, and an old bundt pan. I need to bake a cake for my birthday next week.<br />
They had a lot of wall mirrors and maybe I'll just do that with my new house: just put mirrors everywhere. Everyone loves mirrors. I know I love looking at myself. It started to get cold in there, so I suggested coffee. I also needed to go to the bathroom. I really need to become Italian and just drink a tiny espresso in the morning instead of an enormous cup of black coffee. <br />
We found a generic Italian cafe across the street, ordered our drinks (caffe lungo decaffeinated for me) along with a doughnut for me and a cookie for her. The restroom was about as expected; biggest toilet I'd ever seen and no seat. I had to squat while my thighs rested on the bowl itself because there was no way to avoid it. How far we have fallen, as my old friend would say.<br />
At least they had soap and water and hand towels to sanitize myself with afterward. After coffee, we walked to the panettiera for bread for her and then back to the car to leave. When I got home, there was no one here. I put a load of laundry into the wash, did a little housework, and then it was time to go pick up Anna at daycare.<br />
I double parked on the street and went inside to get Anna. They're always ready for me when I get there: they must look out the window to see. I'm glad she's having such a fun time.<br />
When we got into the car, we had to go a different way back to the main road to get home. They were working on the road. I still, for the life of me, can't find the dump. Giovanni and I drove there once and I've never seen it again--even though there are signs posted. I'm lost!<br />
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Now I'm at the computer. Giovanni just got home. I have nothing for us or him to eat. Why is it up to me, anyway? He has the day off. Why can't he cook? I made myself a little cold cut sandwich with cheese. I needed some protein in my system because I had too much sugar and it was making me a cranky bitch.<br />
This afternoon, we're going to the fireplace store to get an estimate to put in a fireplace at Via Benetti. We'll see.<br />
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<br /></div>
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-40352258581067816952016-04-19T06:26:00.001-04:002016-04-19T06:26:45.393-04:004/19/2015<div dir="ltr">
I made the same mistake today that I made on Saturday. I had less caffeine this morning. Not my usual American coffee but just a small Italian caffe. Not enough caffeine and now I'm out of sorts and sort of down--even though it's a beautiful day. A lot of clouds in the sky.<br />
Anna got up with a cough; she had a cough all last night but didn't complain. But Giovanni wanted to give her something this morning so I said, "Sure, go ahead!" So he gave her a spoonful of the "cough" syrup for babies (which doesn't exist). He got some on her sacco di nanna, even though I told him not to do that in retaliation.<br />
Dropped Anna off at daycare where I was told she has to wear knit pants and not the cute tights and skirt I put her in today. Oh, stuff it lady. All I ever get is grief.<br />
Just realized that it's mom's birthday next month. Oh boy, I better get my cards in order. I have to send one to Laura, also. Mom must not have herself down on Facebook; that's where I looked yesterday. I think I have enough cards. Mom says she's sending more.<br />
Yesterday afternoon, I didn't do anything. Anna and I just hung out here at the house. We never ended up going to the park. Anna needs a little more rest in the afternoon now that she's going to daycare. She doesn't get to sleep until 1:00 pm and then when I try to wake her up at 3:00 she's a cranky mess for a long time--almost an hour. She's growing and playing and having fun. <br />
I've been reading the book "Capital" which is a British book and I'm enjoying it so far. It was recommended to me by Betina at the ladies' library morning. I said I wanted something not heavy or about the Holocaust. It was a good suggestion and now I'd like to read more books like it. I'm learning things, though, which is nice. I'm also reading a Topolino comic book which really helps. I understand a lot of it. I went to class this morning and sometimes I understand a lot and sometimes I don't. Seems like everyone understands a lot more than I do. And I can't help myself from being a smart ass in class. This morning, Lino gave me something about Bernie Sanders being a socialist and I said that "Socialist" was a dirty word in America. The Russians in the class said there was nothing wrong with being a socialist. I said in America there's no difference between being a communist and a socialist--they're equally bad. I know I heard the difference once but I forget. <br />
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I just got the bell that Anna is ready to be picked up in 10 minutes. I set an alarm for 12:20 so I can go to the bathroom, grab my keys, and go. <br />
Last night, she was watching videos and I let her watch some in her crib with the volume way down low. She liked that and I didn't think much of it but then realized she might get used to that. So I went in and got the tablet and she was still awake but didn't put up too much of a fuss. <br />
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<a href="https://750words.com/">https://750words.com/</a></div>
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-63522902819514508192016-04-19T06:24:00.001-04:002016-04-19T06:24:15.963-04:004/18/2016<div dir="ltr">
Doing okay today; slept well last night. G and I watched some of Star Wars The Force Awakens last night. He'd fallen asleep during it a couple nights before so he wanted to watch from where he'd fallen asleep. That was a first--Molly continues to watch a movie while G falls asleep. It's 99% the other way all the time. But he'd already seen the movie in the theater so he knew what was going to happen but I did not. I really enjoyed it so was willing to watch it again--but this time I put it on Italian with Italian subtitles. So, I knew what was going on. I understood some Italian but not all of it. I'm still dismayed by my terrible Italian even though I'm leaps and bounds ahead of where I was a year and a half ago. <br />
Today, I had to go to the bank to drop off some paperwork. I was able to accomplish what I was there to do, but there was definitely some miscommunication on both sides. She spoke very fast so I had to guess what she was saying and I probably guessed poorly. Melanie said in those situations she just keeps asking "A posto?" if she thinks everything's done. Then, if it's not, they say one thing and if it is they say Si. Facile!<br />
Took Anna to daycare this morning and told the daycare lady, Monica, that Anna had put away all her toys in the toybox on Saturday without being told or asked. All the while saying "A posto! A posto!" I knew she hadn't learned that downstairs!! I passed on a compliment. When I returned to pick Anna up, however, Monica told me that today Anna did not help clean up at all.<br />
Anna is not a brava bambina. She's not a bambina cattiva, but she is far from brava. She's very independent and I'm probably an overly permissive mother who lets her get away with a lot of stuff. She's well on her way to being a spoiled brat if she's not already there. But, in other ways, she's a great kid: she eats, sleeps, and poops well. Even when she's sick, she's pretty easy. In that sense, she's very easy. Very brava. <br />
At 1:30, I'm skyping with my friend k. I should probably eat something beforehand so I'm not shoving sandwiches in my face as we speak. Although I don't think she minds, much. I was able to get some housework done this morning uninterrupted. As I told m, cleaning the house on the weekend while my husband is home is like shoveling the drive during a snowstorm. Best just to wait until Monday morning.<br />
Yesterday was fine. I don't think we did much. Saturday night, I met s and her family at Kirby Grove for pizza at seven o'clock. I got there too early--even before they'd fired up the pizza ovens. I hate to say I'm getting used to Italy and things only being open 3 hours a day. I can't believe I come from a place where you can get a full dinner at 4:00 in the afternoon if you want. I used to do stuff like that all the time. Why not?!! Maybe I want the Enchilada platter at 4:00 in the afternoon!!!<br />
Yesterday, I went to Auchan after Anna woke up from her nap. It's a mixed bag whether Anna will be a good traveling companion or not. She was okay, but didn't like being in the cart much and kept trying to climb out. I don't know where she thought she was going to go!<br />
Tomorrow I have class and then Wednesday morning m and I are going to this chick Margaret's house. I guess there's just an enormous coffee group who just go around and have coffee all the time. And now I'm on the list. m still isn't on the list but I keep being told I can bring her. <br />
Maybe I won't get to 750 words today. <br />
This afternoon, I don't have any plans yet. Maybe we'll go to the park if it's not raining. Anna and I haven't been there in a long time. Tomorrow morning, I have class in the morning and then who knows what I'll do after class. g comes tomorrow afternoon to clean the apartment. <br />
Wednesday morning it's coffee at Margaret's who is right near the swimming pool where Anna and I are starting lessons this Saturday morning. I should probably make sure the swimming suit still fits her!<br />
</div>
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-20146516070628930532016-04-14T06:19:00.000-04:002016-04-14T06:19:01.483-04:00April 14, 2016<div dir="ltr">
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<br />
One year ago, I was pregnant (or thought I was), studying for the patente, and at war with my in-laws.<br />
Two years ago, I was in New Jersey with a new baby and I was nervous about moving to Italy. Also excited. <br />
Three years ago today, I was living in New York City, going to grad school, volunteering at a counseling center, working at Intermix, about to turn 40, and dating the hottest guy I'd ever met. <br />
Four years ago, I was in my second semester of grad school and just starting to see the hottest guy I'd ever met. I'd never been so thin in all my life.<br />
Today, Giovanni and I woke up together at around the usual time. He went to do yoga in the ingresso and I went to turn on the hot water for my coffee. I make my coffee with coffee filters mom put in a box and sent to me. I can't find them here in Italy. I then took my coffee and my itouch and went into the dark to listen to a 20-minute playlist of Italian mp3s I've made for myself. They do help my pronunciation. An old therapist told me I needed to meditate in the morning, or at least try, but that never worked much. I just had too much going on in my head. So I decided to try sitting in the dark listening to the mp3s while sipping coffee and that works really well. I don't know if it brings clarity but I enjoy it so much I do it every day.<br />
After the playlist finishes, I tend to check the NY times online to see what's going on in the world. I'm really trying to cut back on my news ingestion because I fear it's making me anxious. I'm also doing a Facebook and twitter fast for April because I was doing too much comparing and despairing and trying to control everything. And it exhausted me. So I need to try to jettison that for awhile. So far, so good. The only thing I really miss is my expats in Italy Facebook group. I've found that's a great support network for me that I'm cut off from for now. But it's a huge time suck. And I have so many other things I could be doing.<br />
I also need to train myself to check my whatsapp app on my iphone because I discovered yesterday a whole bunch of messages that I never got notified for. <br />
Anna woke early this morning; typically I have to go in there and poke her around 7:30 but she was yelling for stuff starting at 7:00 am. She wasn't crying, just trying to get our attention from the crib. Maybe Giovanni had turned on the hall light. She cracks me up all the things she says. She's a little chatterbox. Like her mom.<br />
I took my shower. Yesterday, I tried to wash my hair and realized, in total straniera move, I'd bought conditioner instead of shampoo. In frustration, I just threw the bottle away. I never use conditioner! I'm still making stupid mistakes like that which drives me crazy. A couple weeks ago, I'd bought a sweet cream LIKE ricotta instead of ricotta. So I made a very sweet lasagna that I didn't tell Giovanni what was wrong with it. And he didn't notice. Or if he did notice, he didn't mention it. <br />
While I was getting dressed, Giovanni and Anna were playing with her toy cars. Anna saw me senza pants. She laughed and said, "Change your pants, mamma!" We're always changing her pants. She's very much in love with routine, which is very normal for a two-year-old.<br />
This morning, I made her the oatmeal that I bought at the COOP in Rivoli with Melanie. I'd taken a list for the Auchan and tried to find all the things I wanted at the COOP and it was a no go. Instead of quick oats, all they had were slow-cooking oats. Ugh. <br />
She's used to having a big bottle of warm milk in the morning, but I want her to have some food in her stomach before she goes to nido so she just doesn't spend all morning begging for food. Every time I pick her up, they tell me how she ate everything (tutto). Yep, that's my girl. She's a good eater. She took to daycare like a duck to water and I'm so glad she's seemingly having a good time. </div>
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The baby is sleeping: blessedly. She had a cranky yesterday and a cranky morning. Nothing would please her this morning: I changed her diaper, gave her food, put her in the walker, on the floor, toys, etc. Finally, when she started to rub her eyes, I nursed her to sleep. Let's hope it works a little. <br />
<br />
I'm sitting here with wet hair; I need to do some things while the baby sleeps but I also wanted to do a little writing. So much going on. So much to beat myself up over. The nonni went to Menton this morning for a couple days. They'll return on Thursday evening. So, it's just me and the baby like old times. We've gotten out of sync. I've forgotten her schedule and she's not used to seeing my ugly mug all day long. Watching a baby is like spinning a top; you can only do so much before you have to go over and spin the thing again. I can do some housework and things while watching the baby, but when she's fussy like this morning: forget it. I can only deal with the baby.<br />
<br />
My house is a little messy; we just got the amazon package from the post office. That reminds me that I have to buy some special mailing paper if I can. So I can write letters. I can't go to school for three days: which makes me sad. Not that I'm crazy about school, but I need to learn Italian and I need to get out of the house and I need to socialize with other people besides Giovanni and his family. I'm lucky enough to have skype in order to talk to my mother for a good hour or so every other day if not every day. I need it. Perhaps I'm not practicing Italian enough. Some days it seems like I'm really on the ball, and other days it seems like I just spit out random words that don't string together in a sentence. I told Giovanni last night and he knew what I was talking about.<br />
<br />
It's nice that he went through all this first so on one hand he's very sympathetic to my plight: on the other hand, he came through on the other side, so suffers from hindsight bias. He got through it, and he didn't think it was that hard, so I should be able to do it just as easily. We forget how difficult things were when we were going through them. Just like we forget what it's like to be hungry when we're full and likewise.<br />
<br />
We quarrel about little things; the electricity is higher than the states, so we can only run washes at night and off hours. This morning, when the alarm went off, I raced over to the washing machine and did a load. Giovanni didn't like that because it wasn't full but it's his thing that we can't do it in the middle of the day so we'll just keep fighting about it I guess. We both want things done our own way and there's little compromise. Or, it always seems (to me) that I'm the only one who compromises. <br />
<br />
Poor me! After a nursing session, I can really get angry and down. I have to run into the kitchen and have something sugary to eat. But I have to keep asking myself: what would my life be like if I'd never met Giovanni? We were discussing it last night at the dinner table; I have no idea why my husband still loves me much less talks to me it always seems like I'm a raging bitch. I might still be at 3609 Broadway. Probably. Probably! In that shitty apartment! I'd still be doing online dating! Oh God. Yuck. Online dating was such a necessary evil; I hope I never have to do it again but I'm only one ski accident or heart attack away from it. <br />
<br />
750 Words still thinks I live in New York and am doing this at 4:22 in the morning. Oh well. I suppose I could change my preferences. They're all over the map depending on what website I'm on or what app I'm using. Maybe today I'll make some fudge. I need to try that recipe from the New York Times. I can't make mom's fudge because it calls for marshmallow fluff. Something impossible to find in Italy or I could find it at great cost.<br />
<br />
I'm glad for this moment of calm. I hope after her nap the baby is better. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://750words.com/">https://750words.com/</a></div>
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-7312240596285292062015-02-23T05:59:00.000-05:002015-02-23T05:59:00.254-05:0023/2/2015Two days ago, it was my daughter's biological one year birthday. She
<br />
is so big now but she's still my baby doll. When I carry her around,
<br />
it reminds me of when I used to carry baby dolls around under my arm.
<br />
She doesn't really like for me to dress her anymore so every diaper
<br />
change etc is one big wrestling match. Sometimes, I lose it and snap
<br />
at her and then I have to remember that these are the days, etc. and I
<br />
remember myself.
<br />
<br />
Things are better. I'm feeling more confident about the driving test.
<br />
I take online and practice exams every day and more often than not I
<br />
do pass them. That's giving me more confidence. I don't know Italian
<br />
at all but I know the language of the drivers exam with razor-sharp
<br />
clarity. I have to learn it somehow. Giovanni and his family are
<br />
chomping at the bit to get me into drivers school. I'm getting
<br />
lukewarm to it--or I'm warming up. I was very afraid before because I
<br />
didn't understand the language and I wasn't doing very well on the
<br />
practice exams; now I'm doing better on the practice exams and the
<br />
book makes a lot more sense. I'm also getting wise to the trick
<br />
questions.
<br />
<br />
Yesterday, Aunt Verena came to visit. The baby had a late nap so it
<br />
was almost four o'clock when she and I went down. Everyone was already
<br />
waiting for us at the kitchen table. I was surprised! Aunt Verena
<br />
offered to take me somewhere, so I suggested Largo Grande in
<br />
Avigliana. In retrospect, I don't think that's what she meant. Maybe
<br />
she meant I was supposed to choose the Auchan if I needed a carton of
<br />
milk. Whatever. She drove me to Largo Grande and we walked around. She
<br />
speaks very clearly and I understand her mostly. I like her but it's
<br />
easy to like someone you don't live with. We walked around the lake
<br />
with all the other Sunday tourists. It was beautiful but it got cold
<br />
as soon as the sun set.
<br />
<br />
Giovanni left for Brindisi yesterday. I don't know what it is, however, the baby
<br />
ALWAYS gives me grief when it's just her and me alone. She hasn't
<br />
woken in the night in a long time and she woke up in the night last
<br />
night. I was able to stave off full-on disaster, though. Now that I'm
<br />
weaning Anna, I can drink caffeine in the afternoon. I had a cup of
<br />
tea yesterday and regretted it when I was staring at the ceiling for
<br />
over three hours in the night.
<br />
<br />
I was up in bed listening to Thicht Naht Hahn giving a speech on
<br />
"letting go." It was difficult to understand his thick accent. Funny,
<br />
yesterday, Verena had a difficult time understanding me when I said
<br />
something in a way that I thought was clear, loud, and slow. I'm
<br />
understanding a lot more than I used to. Instead of things taking 15
<br />
seconds to make sense, it now takes more like 5 seconds. It's by no
<br />
means instantaneous, however. I don't know if that will ever happen. It's like a switch.
<br />
I do have to turn it on and off. If I turn it on, I can understand.
<br />
But if the switch is off, it's just noise. Same with reading. I have
<br />
to parse everything out.
<br />
<br />
I need to work on my grammar. Right now, I'm working on basic
<br />
memorization. I need to learn the tricks and ways of the language in
<br />
order to process novel words and phrases.
<br />
<br />
I spent the morning studying drivers ed and then went downstairs to
<br />
collect Anna after two hours. She was out in the garden and now
<br />
they're feeding her so I'm going to go get her in 20 minutes.
<br />
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-42655886776622388762015-01-29T11:43:00.002-05:002015-01-29T11:43:18.570-05:00A Letter to My Daughter on Her First Birthday<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
January 29, 2015</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dear Anna,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On January 28th, 2014, I had an early morning doctors
appointment before going to work at Intermix. It was a cold day and I wore my
black parka and my purple scarf; I had a big breakfast of oatmeal. I got to the
obstetrician's office in Union
Square, New York,
and waited my turn. First, they made me step on the scale and at that point in
my pregnancy I no longer looked at the numbers. Then, they checked my blood
pressure. The nurse was very startled by the number and checked it again to
make sure. She made a note on my chart.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I met with a doctor I'd never met with before; she very
pleasantly told me she was sending me over to Labor and Delivery (on another
campus) to run some more tests. She assured me that everything was fine but she
just wanted to make sure (etc.). On the walk over to the First Avenue hospital, I called your
Grammy in alarm and she told me it was probably nothing. I also texted my
manager, Luis, at Intermix to tell him I'd be late. I did not text or call your
father because I didn't want to alarm him at work unnecessarily.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I found Labor & Delivery and filled out some paperwork;
they sent me to wait and I waited and waited and waited at least 45 minutes to
an hour before I had to remind them again that I was there. They'd forgotten
about me but then they put me in a room, told me to get into a hospital gown
and pee in a cup, and then they stuck an iv in my hand. I figured I wasn't
going anywhere soon. I texted my manager and told him that I wasn't coming in
that day.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The tests didn't go so well so they decided to induce. I
called your father on his cell at work but he wasn't answering. I texted him
CALL ME and then called your Grammy in Portland
(where she was vacationing) to google his workplace to get the workplace
number. She didn't have wifi in the Portland
condo, so she called her sister to google it. I finally got through to your
father at the same time your grammy did on the landline. She called the
reception at Avio and said that it was an emergency and she needed to speak
with Giovanni right away and it was his mother-in-law!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I told your father not to hurry and that it was going to be
a long while before the baby came. We learned that from the prenatal classes. I
didn't have a bag packed. I told him to bring some clothes for me and
definitely all the chargers for all the electronics and the list of baby names!
We still hadn't picked a name!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It wasn't a pleasant time for me. I was glad that I'd had
the huge bowl of oatmeal because that was the last food I saw for days; they
hooked me up to every sort of drip and machine. Yadda yadda yadda I'll spare
you. Hot and cold running doctors and nurses; never seemed to see the same one
twice. Finally, your dad showed but there wasn't much for him to do. I wasn't
going to give birth anytime soon.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He came and went; he went to starbucks and the dunkin donuts
and walked around the neighborhood. The nurses and doctors kept me plenty
company. They were all very nice and friendly. Then, it was night and your
father had to sit by my bedside in a hard-backed chair because there was
nothing else for him. I wasn't very comfortable in my bed because I was hooked
up to so many machines. If I rolled over, I'd unhook something and the nurses
would come running in to cluck their tongues.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Close to dawn, they upped the pitocin and my contractions
(which I hadn't felt up to this point) began in earnest. Still, the doctor said
it was going to be a long time, so I told Giovanni he could go home and take a
shower if he needed, etc. After the first big contraction, I told a nurse I
wanted an epidural. Your father left but then came back because there was a big
snowstorm outside. He was afraid that if he left the island
of Manhattan, they'd close the George Washington
Bridge and he wouldn't be
able to get back in. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Soon, no more than an hour or two, many doctors and nurses
came in and said that the baby was in distress and that they wanted to do an
emergency C-Section--what your father and I feared the most! But I said okay
because it needed to be done. They wheeled me into surgery and started to work
on me (it seemed) before the epidural started. I could still feel some
sensation and I was worried about that but not for long. They knocked me out.
When I awoke, I was angry that I'd "slept" through the whole thing! I
was angry at myself! Of course, I didn't know that they'd knocked me out
deliberately. The nurse came over and asked me if I wanted to see my baby.
"Of course!" She held you sideways because I was lying down. You
looked like a baby to me, but I was so glad that there was nothing wrong with
you! You were swaddled and had a little hat on. Then, I probably fell asleep.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They wheeled me into a Recovery room on another floor where
for 24 hours I was watched over. I had the bed next to the window so I could
look out. The nurses were so nice to me; I was hooked up to a magnesium drip
and blood pressure machines that took my blood pressure every half hour (more
or less). I couldn't eat anything but I wasn't hungry. Your father came to
visit me a little bit, but, once again, there was little he could do. They
wheeled you in a couple times to try to nurse, but I was out of it and unable
to take care of you. I pumped regularly but I also let them give you formula. I
drifted in and out of sleep and chewed the same gum. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You were taken to the nursery and put under the light
because you had jaundice. You were a tiny little thing. Later, I would go visit
you. You had a tiny little sunshade over your eyes. You were so tiny I had the
nurse put the little visor back on you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next day, I was put in my own room--even though I didn't
pay more for a private room. It was huge but cold! For some reason, the heat
didn't work properly. It was fine for me, but it was a little chilly for the
baby. For four or five days, I stayed in that room. Every three hours, I'd
shuffle to the nursery to sit and try to nurse you. I tried to sleep but the
nurses kept waking me up to take my blood pressure. Every morning, I parked you
at the nurses station and then went to go get my own breakfast at the breakfast
buffet. Loved that!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I watched the 24 hour baby channel and looked on Facebook.
Cindy Cravenho came to visit and soon Grammy showed up; she came immediately
and stayed with her friend Wendy in Manhattan.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had to stay an extra day because my blood pressure was
still really high: it stayed high for more than a few weeks until one day it
just returned to normal. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We still debated the name for you; our original name for you
was "Anna" but your father thought we agreed on that name too
quickly. He thought we should take more time naming you--even though we both
liked "Anna." Finally, after much machinations, we chose
"Kate" and even filled out the paperwork with "Kate." But
then thought some more and decided on Anna after all. So we scratched out
"Kate" on the paperwork and wrote "Anna." I thought of you
as Kate for a good long while, though, after you were born. The road not
traveled! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your dad went to the Babies R'Us in Union Square and bought a little fleece
outfit that you came home from the hospital in. Grammy, you, me and dad all
drove to Englewood NJ
where we lived at the Towne
Center--a luxury
apartment building. It was still very cold and snowy and those two first weeks
that Grammy stayed with us were some of the best of my life. At night, we'd
watch the winter Olympics in Socchi. In the morning, Grammy, you and I would
watch The Daily Show. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today, your first birthday, you and I got up around 8:00 am
and I fed you and put some clothes on you. These days, I then put you in your
highchair where you play with your toys or I put you in the l'ingresso where
you can play with your toys and not be watched so much. The ingresso is baby
proofed!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You are my delight and my joy. It's true that children open
up new rooms in your heart. The first time you smiled at me, it was like the
sun shining from behind clouds and the Angel Gabriel blowing his horn! And now,
you're just starting to use words. Of course, the only two words you really
know are "Mama" and "caca." But you use them all the time.
The first time you used the word "Mama" around me, I teared up. I
can't believe you're mine!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Right now, you tend to spend a lot of the mornings with your
Nonni if I'm studying or if I have to go to school. Then, I bring you upstairs where
I nurse you to sleep. You tend to nap for at least two hours. Afterwards, I
diaper you and try to feed you (some protein and some pureed minestrone soup)
and then put you back on the floor with your toys or<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in your walker. You like the walker and tool
around the apartment--going from room to room. You like to go into your room
and pull all the books off the shelf; then, when you're not looking, I go in
there and put them all back. You'd love to be in the kitchen more but I've put
the baby gate up because there's just too much in there I don't want<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>you into yet.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You are a very healthy, normal baby. You've got four teeth
(and sometimes use them on me!) and can stand by yourself assisted by a couch
or chair. You can crawl very fast and are very curious about everything. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the late afternoon, you go back downstairs for a couple
hours while I do studying. Then, I retrieve you, give you some dinner in your
highchair, give you a little bath in the tub, and then nurse you to sleep--if
I'm lucky! Seems like you never want to go to bed anymore. Oh well, this, too,
shall pass!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While I love you being my little (BIG) baby, I do want you
to grow. I want to read stories with you and talk with you. I want to explore
things with you. You and I will be good friends in the upcoming year. I know
it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I love you very much. I don't know what I'd do without you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mom</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-90798418584961671272014-11-30T04:50:00.000-05:002014-11-30T04:50:49.177-05:0030/11/2014<div dir="ltr">
Husband slept in this morning but I did not. The baby slept well through the night, so we were both awake around 6:30. I fed her and put her back to bed. I decided to just get up and study a bit of Italian drivers ed. I'm studying the chapter on speed and safety distance. How fast everyone can go on certain roads if they're towing trailers or whether they're driving mopeds or whether they're over the age of 85 or have a provisional license. Because I will have a provisional license, I'm not allowed to drive a powerful car or drive too fast on the autostrade. Meh. Who cares? <br />
<br />
Yesterday, we just took boxes and opened them up. My MIL is taking it upon herself to wash everything in the boxes: baby clothes and blankets, husband's clothes and my own clothes. I think this is too much: especially for a woman without a dryer and rainy weather. All the clothes get hung in the basement; they dry within 24 hours but still. I'm not minding so much hanging the clothes in the basement. I almost enjoy it. Well, it's not the worst chore. I'd rather hang clothes all day in the basement than wash floors.<br />
<br />
The baby is out in the ingresso playing with the pink IKEA tray we brought all the way from Jersey with. She was attracted to it this morning while Giovanni ate, so I let her play with it. Before, she was playing with old keys on a keychain with the plastic shopping cards/fobs. <br />
<br />
Anyway, so we slowly started to integrate our crap with our new apartment. All my spices showed up but I don't really have a place to put them yet. And Giovanni and I are often at odds over where to put things. I'm trying not to be a bitch and I'm surprised at how relatively well I'm doing. I've had some bitchy moments, but I forget. Trying to clean when my husband is home is like trying to shovel the walk during a snowstorm. Best to just wait it out until Monday morning when he goes to work. That's when I can go to work. <br />
<br />
The weather is terrible so we've been staying home. Yesterday, Giovanni tried the GPS system again; I thought it was a fool's errand but he got it to work!! I threw all my powers at it and wasn't able to get it to work. He did it and made it work fine. We're now in Europe and Rosta and we can find ourselves. Now, we'll probably have to use a different voice. We have Michelle, the American chick telling us where to go and what to do. She'll butcher the street names, that's for sure. But at least I'll be able to understand her. That's the important thing. I hope she understands Roundabouts!<br />
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The plumber showed up around 2:00 pm. "My" shower was shitty and had a tiny spray; I idly mentioned I'd like a super deluxe shower head someday. Well, it happened!! The plumber was called (I later found out that they'd had some leakage problems anyway so it was time). He waterproofed the bathroom and installed it. I'm not supposed to use it for 24 hours so no super shower today. So be it. I can wait. I've waited for many things in my life.<br />
<br />
At 8:00 pm, Giovanni and I headed to our favorite local pizza place (ha! it's the only local pizza place we can walk to) for beer, l'acqua gasata?, and pizza. We got shown to the upstairs room. It's warmer than downstairs because it's next to the pizza ovens. Delightful on a cold November evening but I'm sure it's bitching hot on summer nights. Good luck to us trying to find a table in the summer; there's outdoor seating and, once again, the only game in town. <br />
<br />
Today, more of the same. Just puttering and putting things away. I've got food enough for both lunch and dinner. I need to lower my standards about cleaning. Now that I have the cleaning lady, that's one thing to let go of. I got home last night to TWO letters from my sister and one more letter from my father about changing my address for Schwab. <br />
<br />
*** <br />
<br />
For some reason, I'm in a nasty mood. Which doesn't make any sense. I've had a full night's sleep, I've had caffeine, I've had breakfast. Just ruminating and gnashing my mental teeth, though. Must keep my mouth shut.<br />
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<a href="https://750words.com/">https://750words.com/</a></div>
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-28324322390855865582014-11-28T03:25:00.000-05:002014-11-28T03:25:05.689-05:00The Nonverbal Mediation of Self-fulfilling Prophecies in Interracial Interaction<div dir="ltr">
<div dir="ltr" id="internal-source-marker_0.7245370977571752" style="line-height: 2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> The concern and issue of this article is stated in the title and the abstract--Self-fulfilling prophecy. It's that positive or negative thoughts will lead to positive or negative behaviors; these behaviors will trigger behavior in others. Others will react, which will reinforce the initial subject to continue to act in that negative or positive way. In the end, the subject reaps the exact rewards or punishments that he or she expects. In the paper, the researchers call it a "false definition," however, I believe that it can be positive behaviors as well. If someone acts and thinks and behaves in a positive way, others may behave accordingly, reinforcing the positive behavior. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> Self-Fulfilling prophecy is similar to </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">demand characteristics</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">. Researchers may subconsciously shape subject behavior through words and reactions--eliciting the hoped-for results. If researchers know or expect certain behaviors, or to look for behaviors in their test subjects, they may subconsciously positively reward or punish the behaviors they do or don't want. Double-blind studies, where research administrators don't know which variable is being studied, are useful to combat demand characteristics. Self-fulfilling prophecy takes it one step further--instead of just acting accordingly, the subject thinks accordingly. When the subject thinks a certain way, he or she acts a certain way. The subjects subconsciously pick up on these cues. In the end, the test results may be skewed and inaccurate. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> Studying self-fulfilling prophecy is important because the concept of self-esteem is so important. Those with higher self-esteem perform better in work, school, and in relationships. They're more productive members of society. It behooves a society to enable its citizens to work, act, and produce at the best of their ability. Low self-esteem can lead to depression, addiction, unemployment, incarceration, and divorce. A worker who is employed and happy contributes to the greater societal good. Studying something as basic as human resources and interviewing techniques is fundamental in both western and eastern societies.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> This study was performed in 1974--almost 40 years ago and only 10 years after the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was passed. Those who participated (college and high school students) were a little young to remember how it had been before the passage, but their parents remembered. The students may have heard or experienced deep prejudice in their homes and schools. Even though laws may change overnight, it takes a little longer for culture to catch up. It takes three generations for a society to shed a trauma; the first generation lives through the crisis (i.e. the great depression), the second generation is reared by the first who lived through it, but the third generation is not stymied by the experience. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The researcher writes on page 111, "It has been demonstrated time and again that white Americans have generalized negative evaluations (e.g., stereotypes) of black Americans." Times have changed since this article was written; however, contemporary researchers would probably garner similar results using similar populations. There are different groups all over the country (and the world) who are in conflict with each other. There is still rampant sexism, racism and homophobia. Disabled and overweight people are regularly treated with disrespect. For example, we could probably recreate these findings here in America using overweight people, or people with visible deformities. We could replicate these findings in England possibly using Irish applicants or in India with its rigid caste system.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The researchers claim that others found similar results using different populations. Kleck (page 110) found that "normal interactants were found to terminate interviews sooner...with a handicapped person...and employ greater interaction distances with an epileptic stranger (Kleck et al., 1968)." Instead of prejudice, it could be anxiety which causes people to act inappropriately. Interviewers may have had many negative stereotypes built up around minorities, but didn't have as many around disabled. Therefore, the </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">anxiety </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">caused by an unknown situation and unknown proper etiquette could have caused them to terminate the interview early--not racism. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">This study was done with privileged, male, white, ivy-league students. It's probable that researchers would garner a different result </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">with this study</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> in the 21st century due to better education and increased sensitivity in schools to race. I would be curious to see how "white guilt" could play a part. White guilt, or the over compensating by the dominant class for perceived potential racism, could even out the interview interactions and perhaps even skew the results in the opposite direction. The white interviewers would spend more time with the black students in the first interview. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">It would be interesting to see if these results hold true with women interviewers; women are more stereotypically in tune with their own and the behavior of others. Women are shaped to be more sensitive to social cues and female subjects/interviewees would definitely read more into interviewer behavior--thereby perhaps showing more varied or stronger results. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">In the first study, the independent variable is race...yet even within race there are shades of grey. There are African Americans who were born in the south and who were born in the north; there are Africans who are immigrants to this country. All could be initially assessed and therefore treated differently by the research subjects. </span></div>
<br /></div>
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-14368535975591979922014-11-28T03:24:00.001-05:002014-11-28T03:24:07.981-05:00Not electronics duster but keyboard blower<div class="mobile-photo">
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-54394675621324002752014-11-28T03:23:00.000-05:002014-11-28T03:23:44.078-05:0028/11/2014<div dir="ltr">
The baby is in the ingresso and it's raining outside. It's Seattle weather again; and it's never going to let up. I'm going to have to come to terms with this weather. It really is depressing. Yesterday, husband requested Mexican lasagna which meant I had to go out in the weather and go to the store. And I'll probably have to go back again. I can't do it all in one fell swoop like I used to at the Shop Rite. Well, I can't make a meal plan other than hamburgers. When they have cheap hamburgers (2 for 1 euro) I tend to stock up. They're so easy.<br />
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So yesterday I went out in the brutal weather and went to the Auchan. First, I put 20 euro in the tank. You can't fill up your tank here; you have to prepay and it's all done on machine. So if you put in more money than your tank can hold, you're fucked or have to ask for money back from the clerk and it's a pain in the ass so it's just easier to put in finite amounts one at a time. Bleah. But, it's relatively quick and easy. There must be a benefit somewhere, but I've yet to find it.<br />
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I have to make a list of all the things that are better in Italy versus better in the states. Of course, an Italian could make the list and it would tilt the other way. <br />
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Yesterday, the whole family got up early because we had to go to the Questura in Turin for my paperwork. Well, to submit my paperwork. Husband drove me in and my FIL took his car. We got into town with too much time to spare and ended up sitting around the Questura longer than we had to. Oh well. Better that way than missing our appointment window. FIL read his La Stampa and I read a copy of "All I need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." It kept making me tear up and kiss husband. After husband and I went to the sportello and submitted all the paperwork, he went to work and FIL and I waited with a billion other people for me to be fingerprinted. It's not a well-oiled machine, but it seems to work. I'd say it's better in the states, but probably not.<br />
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Finally, we got out of there. Husband called while we were on our way home to tell me he wanted Mexican Lasagna for dinner. I didn't think I could find taco seasonings (I was right) but I was able to find a packet of German chili con carne seasonings which worked just fine. I was also able to find beans, corn, tortillas (most expensive item!), and I even had a pan at home that worked!! It worked even better than my 8x8 which I may or may not have packed. <br />
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I ran out of my prescription mom vitamins so bought a jar of 90 maternity vitamins for 45 euro!! Ouch! Oh well, Anna is worth it. I guess she gets all her vitamins from me. It's very important we both are able to grow.<br />
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She and I are growing the same; she's learning a language (two!) and I'm learning a language. She's learning how to crawl and move and I'm learning how to drive my dumb car. We're both getting situated to Italy but this will all seem normal and regular to her and it will always seem foreign to me.<br />
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Every morning I get my news from the New York Times and I wonder if that's a good idea. It doesn't make me homesick much, but it can happen. If they've got a lot of pictures. I guess Facebook can do the same thing. Yesterday, everyone posted pictures of their Thanksgiving dinners. That was nice to see. We had Mexican lasagna. I had husband print out a whole bunch of measurements and conversions for my kitchen--also oven temperatures. I posted on Facebook that my old recipe in my new kitchen required more math than I'd like. I did have to do math!<br />
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I found an elf onesie at the Auchan and put Anna in it this morning. I tried to take pictures, but she refused to lie on her back but insisted on flipping over onto her stomach. Funny how times change. She used to hate tummy time and lament and complain if you put her on her stomach. This, too, shall pass. Can't believe that's she supposed to be crawling, cruising and speaking a few words! Those things aren't happening. But they're about to.<br />
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<br /></div>
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-31816525111449140912014-11-19T05:22:00.000-05:002014-11-19T05:22:19.035-05:00Self PityFeeling some self pity and anger today; even the coffee, a bowl of cereal and cookies, and the sun on the mountains doesn't seem to help. I'm cranky sourpuss even though my life is pretty good. Everyone is nice to me and I don't have to work; not that I ever really minded working. It's not like, "OMG thank god I never have to go anywhere and do something I don't like for 8 hours and talk to my co-workers and walk around Manhattan on my lunch hour!" Most of my jobs I've liked well enough or tolerated. The few I didn't like, I got rid of pretty quickly.<br /><br />The baby is sleeping. I put her in her crib and she got the picture. This morning, I went through the closets in order to find new bedding. I haven't changed the sheets on any bed in over three weeks. Gross. So, there's bedding in the closets. We're supposed to take off the bumpers now because the baby could feasibly crawl out.<br /><br />I need to start writing like this again. It's good for the soul. I have to keep reminding myself that the first year is a year of transition. I just feel a lot of fear and anxiety. Some of it is probably maternal hormones. I'm still nursing so still feel like a frayed nerve sometimes. It's gotten better. It was really bad for the first several months coming home from the hospital. I could look at the news or read anything disturbing. I'd get disturbing news stories or thoughts stuck in my head and they'd run through a lot. It's like, "Why the hell do I keep thinking about Ariel Castro?!!!" But I think about him and those girls all the time! It's like, "What kind of a shitty world do we live in?! My aunt is right to be a shut in and watch old movies checked out from the library." I'd do that too. <br /><br />The baby is asleep and I'm showered and coffeed and breakfasted. There was class this morning, but husband and inlaws had to go into the city in order to do some paperwork nonsense. It was just me and the baby. She wants to crawl but doesn't know how to do that yet. She either just gets down on her belly and scootches backwards or sits on her butt and bounces around the room. She'll never get it. She'll be the only bald, scootching 18-year-old in college. ;)<br /><br />I have two showers in my bathroom; a standing one and a hand-held one in the bath. I've taken to using the bathtub hand-held shower. It's more thorough and has a stronger spray. The stand in shower is almost worthless. The spray is too scattered and weak. My face and hair get clean, but everything else just gets damp.<br /><br />Today, there was class in the morning but I couldn't go because I had to watch my own baby. I'm doing laundry; thank god I have a dryer. I put things out to dry on the terrace two days ago and they're still damp. I have no idea how things are down in the basement. I put a table cloth down there. I'll put the duvet cover down there later. I'm doing a big laundry. In my tiny washing machine. It's okay.<br /><br />I just need to relax and remind myself that I have a bed to sleep in and food in the larder. I knew I'd have mixed feelings when I got here and I have them. I'm not really homesick, but I wouldn't say I'm ecstatic to be here, either. It's not really under my terms. I'm in an apartment where I'm not allowed to do anything. I'm not allowed to use the dryer because it takes too much energy. I'm not allowed to take a bath because it uses too much water. I'm not allowed to turn on lights because they use too much electricity. The garbage is downstairs, out the gate, and down the street! That's a big fucking drag.<br /><br />Thank god the grocery store isn't too far away. I'm scared to drive my car because I keep stalling out in the driveway. I'm a nervous wreck. I can't speak Italian and can barely understand when someone talks to me.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.bloglines.com/sub/http://maulleigh.blogspot.com">
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-30929582516158676082014-11-05T08:57:00.002-05:002014-11-05T08:57:31.351-05:00Eureka moment<div dir="ltr">
<div>
Woke up at five a.m. and dozed on my back until six. <br />
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I feel great! I'm not hating life at all. I'm wondering if that's the key to waking up on the right side of the bed. <br />
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I will have to work that into my morning routine again.<br />
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-4397490122336354662014-11-05T08:57:00.000-05:002014-11-05T08:57:13.978-05:00ItalyMy new apartment is large and beautiful but it was outfitted in the 70s so every socket has 20 transformers attached to it. It's a lot of concrete and tile so the acoustics are bonkers and it's colder than your place in Montara. I like that. My last two apartments were warm-to-hot and it always felt odd to walk around in shorts and flip flops all the time. I know cold.
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We're also in a northern latitude? so it's darker longer in the morning.
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Every day my Italian improves slightly. I'm also trying to study for the drivers test. They whisk the baby away downstairs so I just do my own thing unless Anna needs nursing. She doesn't seem to miss me at all. Now I know how people can abandon their children.
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I drove a stick car around Italy a little; I still stall sometimes at the incline in the driveway. That leads to some tension, but not bad. I live in a very small town (think Kenilworth) with very few businesses. I can walk to the post office and the bank and a couple other stores but that's it. Everything else I'll need the car. I hope to get a little car soon.
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I try to be gentle with myself and not get on my case too much. The apartment is too big to be a wreck yet, but we're going to get our stuff sometime within the next month. There's a lot of space so I hope it won't stress me out.
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Food here is very expensive. Paid 3,99 euro for a small jar of peanut butter that was in the "Ethnic" section. That's why everyone is so thin. It's jarring. Also, the men are all fashion plates. There's the garbage man who has a haircut from Milan!
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Not only do they NOT pick up garbage here, but you have to physically take all the recycling and garbage down the street to these huge bins that are already full of everyone else's garbage. I almost bought a plane ticket "home."
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There's low violent crime in Italy, but a lot of burglaries so everyone has these ugly metal shutters on their windows. We have to put them all down at night and open them every morning. The good thing about them is they block light so the baby is still asleep at 7:38 am. Maybe she's still jet lagged.
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-14645787952636892022014-11-05T08:55:00.001-05:002014-11-05T08:55:24.694-05:00Self PityFeeling down today. For many reasons. I don't understand the language. It's cold in my apartment. It's grey outside. I'm out of my comfort zone in so many ways. My friends and family are all continents away. I'm full of dread and loathing for a test I have to take soon (the Italian drivers exam in Italian).<br />
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I study and do okay but no where near passing.<br />
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I've been here 12 days. I have to just keep reminding myself of that. I have nowhere to walk to. I want to put the baby in the stroller, but there are few sidewalks and the in-laws will probably give me shit for taking the baby out in the rain. They already think I'm a terrible mother. They bought vegetables to make baby food for her without even asking me. I guess I have to take or leave everything.<br />
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I just looked out the window and there's snow on the mountains.<br />
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Everything takes forever to do. I just want to lie in bed and do nothing for awhile but there's just so much to do and nothing I can do.<br />
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Tomorrow, I go back for more Italian lessons at the school for Stranieri.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.bloglines.com/sub/http://maulleigh.blogspot.com">
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</a></div>Maulleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01882334427549943347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14814001.post-50306707617807928422014-01-23T16:37:00.000-05:002014-01-23T16:37:40.922-05:00New Jersey Jury FocusJust moved to Jersey and got an official-looking letter from Paul E. Newell, Esq. asking if I'd like to participate in a jury focus group. I'd get $100, a continental breakfast, and a buffet lunch at the local Hasbrouck Heights Hilton if I accept.<br />
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It sounds like a scam to me, but a quick google netted nothing.<br />
<br />
Has anyone else ever been phished like this?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><a href="http://www.bloglines.com/sub/http://maulleigh.blogspot.com">
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