Tori Amos

I don't "get" Tori Amos. I kinda "got" her first albumn, Little Earthquakes because it had lyrics that made the most sense. Then, she just lost me. I bought most of her successive albumns, but listened to them less and less. She's just too out there and her lyrics are just a little too 8th-grade angsty for me. Grow up! Tell us how you really feel/are today. Don't keep us guessing cuz we're all just thinking about ourselves anyway.

A social Trend

A social trend is whatever is happening to a newspaper editor and the editors' friends

Shit I've Dealt With Since I was 12 Years Old

I'm not the only one to be dumped by Text message. Even Jessica Simpson has to put up with this crap. We all go through the same shit!!

Metrocard Machines

I will be pleased as punch when metrocard readers will be able to decipher stolen credit cards. In 2001, I had my wallet stolen and the first thing the mugger did was go to Penn station and buy a couple metro cards. I cancelled my cards almost immediately so I don't think I had to pay for them. Sumnabitch!

Almost as funny as "The Aristocrats!"

3 Students Held in Church Fires Set in Alabama

Three college students from the prosperous suburbs of Birmingham, Ala., were arrested yesterday in the burning of nine Baptist churches last month in rural Alabama. Federal officials said the fires were a "joke" that spun out of control while the students were deer hunting.

Inside Scientology

I read the Rolling Stone article on Scientology. Those people are koo koo for Cocoapuffs. Tom Cruise is nutjob number one and I feel sorry for Katie Holmes. She's gonna have to pull a Not Without My Daughter Sally Fields trip one of these days.

Sean Young Attempts to Enter Vanity Fair Party

This reminds me of the time I got kicked out of Hogs and Heifers in the Meatpacking district. I stood outside and begged and pleaded with the bouncers to let me back in so I could work some more on the elevator repairman I'd been flirting with.

Yanni arrested

As mug shots go, this one is pretty good. Yanni looks much better without the long hair and mustache.

Male Obsession with Monkeys

What is the male obsession with monkeys? Monkeys are overplayed. Time to move on to Marmosets.

Love Monkey
Family Guy's Evil Monkey
Utterly Monkey by Nick Laird
Advertising Firm
Trunk Monkey (I still have no idea what the hell this is)

Rehab IS boring

What do you want? Wine and circuses? Well, yeah...okay...I see your point...

It's Chastity Bono's birthday

Chastity Bono is not an attractive Woman. How did that happen? I know that Sonny was no prize, but Cher was BEAUTIFUL!!

Condoleeza Rice

I know it's foolish, but I like to think that Condoleeza Rice is actually a super liberal. It's a dream I have.

Never go to Kentucky

Never go to Kentucky. They're a bunch of assholes.