Words I Hate


For example, if I'm reading a womens magazine and I come across the sentence, "If you're hungry, try filling your tummy with yummy veggies," I will set the magazine alight right there on the 9 Parnassus Bus. And then blame it on the bum next to me.

I Hate...I don't know what!!

It's time for every kid to feel shitty again. I know I went to one of the country's best high schools and I'm a loser; let's call a spade a spade, shall we? I went to New Trier High school on the North Shore of Chicago that had money hemmoraging out of its a*shole from all the pricey property taxes that went STRAIGHT to the coffers of New Trier. The school was alloted about $25,463 per student and it all went to an international airport on the Polo field and a starbucks in the teachers lounge.

*Update: New Trier isn't in this issue. Who knew it was leaving on the midnight train to sucksville?


I read an article about Omega-3 fish oil and how it decreases anger in prison inmates. My least-favorite emotion is anger and irritability and if I can decrease that, I'm all for it. I had my two caplets at breakfast. Big mistake. Nothing pukier than coffee burps laced with sushi.