What I ate on 10/20/10

What I ate on 10/19/10

What I ate on 10/18/10

What I ate on 10/15/10

I was hungry all day yesterday; I ran in the morning and that seems to color the whole day.

What I ate on 10/14/10

I also had a slice of pizza and some cheese and small cookies at a museum soiree.

What I ate on 10/13/10

I found a fast food place on 23rd street that serves half-cheap Bib Bim Bap? A Korean dish. Fantastic! It was sooo filling though, I had to finish some at my desk.

What I ate on 10/12/10

I didn't run yesterday. I didn't eat fantastic either. It's difficult when you're hungry to not want to shove everything into the mouth.

What I ate on 10/11/10

 

God I eat a lot of crap. Pumpkin pie. Ice cream. And I'm not running today.

What I ate on 10/10/10

I also had a slice of pizza and two pieces of pumpkin pie. Sometimes it's difficult to whip out a camera.

I feel gross and bloaty today.

What I ate on 10/09/10

I ate a lot of brownies yesterday. :)

What I ate on 10/08/10

I didn't add the enchilada plate I had for dinner along with the gigantic Italian Cheesecake slice I had for dessert. I felt gross and unattractive after wards. :(

What I ate on 10/7/10

I think I got a  cold yesterday; I had a suppressed appetite. I had a sore throat but it seemed to clear in the evening. When I exercise and take care of myself, I rarely get full-blown colds.

What I ate on 10/06/10

I also had a hot dog from a street vendor but didn't get my camera out.

When I got home last night, I was starving so stopped at the King Hing for a small chicken lo mein. Mmmmm.....

What I ate on 10/05/10

I went to the bakery yesterday and tried their raspberry bar number. Meh, not that great. I also got a ginormous piece of pizza on Bhure. I think I like the potatoes slathered in butter or butter substitute. Can't beat the ease. Just put in the microwave for 11 minutes. Voila!

What I ate on 10/04/10

I had a couple handfuls of peanuts too. I weighed myself today: 136.2 and I ran about 47 minutes this morning. Not bad.

What I ate on 10/03/10

Roommate made chocolate cake with whipped cream and peaches? last night. That was nice. I also polished off a lot of raisins sitting in front of Family Guy and American Dad.

What I ate on 10/2/10

I ate more than this. I had a peanut butter rice cake before my run. Also, there were three cannolis but I'd already eaten one before I thought to snap the photo.

I had half a bag of baby carrots that didn't get a photograph,either.

What I ate on 10/01/10

It was rainy and cold out yesterday: no running. I did volunteer work and had that tuna fish salad sandwich. That lasted about two hours and I needed the pizza. That lasted about 15 minutes so I got the bagel. Man, I'm always hungry.

It's sunny and cold out today so I look forward to a good run. :)

What I ate on 9/30/10

Yuck. I ate a lot of crap. I had a small cup of ice cream and a bagel with cream cheese and a medium toffee mocha with full whip cream and it was awesome.

Just was hungry yesterday: that's all. I had a Starbucks coupon for September and had to use it. Sat in the Starbucks and just enjoyed the heck out of that mocha. Boy, it was delicious!

What I ate on 9/29/10

Shoot. I totally had a cheeseburger and fries from a roach coach!

What I ate on 9/28/10

I ate terribly yesterday! Carb on top of carb on top of carb! Pizza! Cookies! Spaghetti!

What I ate on 9/27/10

I was pretty consistently hungry yesterday. It was rainy so no running and the larder was pretty-much bare. I kept going into the kitchen for handfulls of peanuts and nuts. I even had a peanut butter sandwich.

Finally, around six, I went out for Chinese. I didn't eat all of it but will have some leftovers for lunch.

How to do the First Step in Alcoholics Anonymous

Today, I met with my sponsee about the first step. Here are some questions I wrote down. We had a great session.

1. When and what was your first drink?
2. Was there ever a time when you could take or leave alcohol?
3. When did you begin to realize you didn't drink like other people?
4. Who was the first person to address your drinking? What was your response?
5. When did you start to realize you couldn't control your drinking?
6. When did you start to control your drinking (i.e. only on weekends, only two drinks, only beer, drinking seltzer, "white knuckling it")?
7. Did you ever plan ahead for drinking?
8. What was your life like a week before you went to your first AA meeting?
9. What caused you to pick up the phone and call Alcoholics Anonymous?
10. What were your pre-conceived notions about AA?

With these questions, I hoped to capture some of the madness that goes into alcoholic drinking and why we end up at AA--how we don't drink like ladies and gentlemen. How we don't drink like normal people.

This is only a suggestion. There are tons of ways to do the first step!

What I ate on 9/25/10

More Geneen Roth. I had a cannoli and a bundt cake for a meal. That was very filling. I don't know if I'm ever going to buy another one of those mini bundt cakes but the cannoli are outstanding.

Who knows how much fucking weight I'm putting on. I did my 45 minutes at the track so I feel okay with it.

What I ate on 9/24/10

I had a hammantachen for breakfast and a brownie for dessert. Working my way through the local Italian bakery large selections. I'm not going to have one of the brownies again. It was like something you'd get in a prison or other institution: very ordinary. Which I like! Means I never have to get another one. The hammantachen is all right but no Moishe's. Well, it's not a Jewish bakery.

What I ate on 9/23/10

OMG I had such a craving yesterday for baked goods. I spent all day obsessing about walking over to the Italian bakery and ordering something delicious to take home. I finally walked over there in the late afternoon and got the strawberry shortcake (not particularly good but definately filling). It really satisfied my craving for the sugar and the carbs!

I weighed myself yesterday: 137.2 I've been jogging at least 45 minutes a day for the past week so of course I'm starving all the time. *sigh*

What I ate on 9/22/10

I had some leftover Mei Fun for lunch. That lasted about an hour in my stomach before I was hungry again. Went to my favorite Chinese tex-mex place on Seventh Avenue for dinner. Had the chicken combination plate. I ate all the healthy things first (salad/chicken) and then only about 75% of the beans and rice. I'm a good girl! :) I did eat the fresh tortillas they made. Those are so rubbery good!

I got hungry again around 8:30 and Steve K went out for pizza and brought me back a slice. Well, he said he bought himself too much pizza. He's an odd guy but a sweetheart! He said he'd write grad school recommendations for me. :)

What I ate on 9/21/10

This is not half of what I ate yesterday. I went out to dinner with a bunch of friends and had tons and tons of delicious Chinese food. I know I've taken pictures in restaurants in the past, but I would have had to take a picture of a lot of things and it's just not worth it. So, just assume I ate a lot of Chinese food and about two slices of chocolate cake for dessert and it was AWESOME!! :)

What I ate on 9/20/10

There should be a mug of ice cream in addition to this; I totally flaked on taking a picture. Ooops! I love subway and their low-fat sandwiches and prominent caloric content (although I did get the cheese I held back the mayo).

What I ate on 9/19/10

I ate some crap: a linzer tart and a mug of Breyer's ice cream. I had the linzer tart for breakfast.
I started listening to a Geneen Roth book When Food is Food and Love is Love. I found it online at the enypl. It's okay so far.

What I ate on 9/18/10

Ate a lot of peanut butter on rice crackers with diet preserves. It's one of the few things that satiates me. I like it. I eat one before I go for my run at the track and I feel a billion times better than I used to (mentally). I used to just ruminate over current and past wrongs. Now I think about happy, joyous, and free thoughts!

At around seven o'clock, I needed to get out of the house. I had a huge carb craving so walked to the bakery and got the enormous slice of carrot cake. Not half bad for $2. I love my Italian Bakery!

What I ate on 9/13/10

Back to the dieting. Back to the photographs. Just got back from a fun-filled several days of vacation and eating restaurant meals three times a day maybe more. I need a big fast. I'll step on the scale later after my shower.

What I ate on 8/2/10

I think I could finish this today: I've done it for four weeks. 4 sets of 7 days.

Although I worry if I go off the constant vigilance. What constant vigilance? Well, I know I can do it. I suppose if I stop, the couple pounds will come back. Still 134.2 which is nice. I went to City Island yesterday and had half a shrimp basket and an ice-cream cone with a friend. I seem to go out more and socialize than I thought!

Anyway, it was a learning experience. Yeah, maybe I'll quit today--even  though it wasn't that big a deal!

What I ate on 8/1/10

I had a real craving for cake yesterday that I could not shake. Lucky for me, I found it at a grocery store in upper Manhattan for 99 cents. It was perfect: I can't say that God never does anything for me.

Yesterday, I weighed myself: 134.2. I think the "diet" is working. Nice to know that I can buckle down and lose some weight if need be. I hope I don't yo-yo diet for the rest of my life. I'll probably carry these lessons with me: a belly full of food and a head full of diet tips. Try to eat healthy but enjoy life too. No, I didn't need the grocery-store cake; that's a problem. 

What I ate on 7/31/10

Roommate and I were watching Top Chef yesterday and I was eating in front of the television set. I ate more than I should have. I didn't need the scoop of chocolate peanut butter along with the plain yogurt with honey.

So it goes!

I weighed 135.6 yesterday and only ran for 20 minutes because my headphones gave out--and hard--at the track. At least it wasn't my ipod.

What I ate on 7/30/10

I cannot believe I've been doing this for almost a month! I don't think I've lost any weight (136.4), but it's interesting to see all the healthy choices I've made so far. I've only had one slice of pizza in three weeks? I was offered a donut last night and of course I took the opportunity.

I ate out twice yesterday; I really wanted a regular/old dish for lunch so had the steak and guacamole combination plate at the Chinese tex-mex place. The guacamole was terrible so I ate little of it; but I concentrated on the most-nutritious parts of the meal: the steak, the beans and the salad. I left the guacamole and a lot of the rice. Rice is a waste of time. It feels good to be healthy!

Last night, before my volunteer commitment, I got a deli sandwich. Lo-fat tuna salad on 7-grain bread with no dressing. Of course they had pastry samples and of course I had to have a couple! I'm not a saint. :)

What I ate on 7/29/10

I allowed myself one treat yesterday: I was meeting a date in the East Village and decided to have a Moishe's Hammantachen beforehand. Haven't had one of those in ages. That was my dinner and it was delicious!

The Burrito Supreme was a chicken fresco: 340 calories and very filling.

What I ate on 7/28/10

Not much to report today. I weighed 135.4 or something yesterday. Wish I'd kept a better record of what my weight was when I started. That brown stuff is chocolate peanut butter that I have in cupboard. Supposedly it's sweetened with cane sugar and not HFCS.

What I ate on 7/27/10

I went somewhere last night where I ate two slices of apple turnover and wasn't able to take a picture of either. So I went online and found approximations of what I ate.

I ate a lot of brown and white food yesterday: actually, the orange and the egg and the peanuts are non processed. The only processed foods are the yogurt and lunch meats and bread.

I weighed myself yesterday: 135.5 or something similar. I can't remember the exact number. My scale is digital and it only works in the bathroom--so I have to carry it in there every day before my shower.

I'll doubt I'll have lost a pound after my month-long experiment of taking pictures of food. I refuse to go hungry. The point is to stuff my maw with healthy foods instead of unhealthy!

I read a blind item yesterday that points to Gwyneth Paltrow being a big bulimic. I refuse to go there. Refuse. Life is too short.

So it goes.

What I ate on 7/26/10

A lot of handfuls of peanuts and nuts. I guess that's become my new thing to snack on while I'm waiting for food to come out of the microwave or something. Ironically, it would be better if I ate Hershey's Kisses like I used to: they're less caloric.

What I ate on 7/25/10

I was hungry yesterday and ate a lot of meat: turkey dogs and actual hamburgers with ketchup. I then had "dessert" of peanut butter and honey on rice cakes. Yes, I think the trick is to have protein in the morning: like peanut butter. Yesterday, I had oatmeal with just milk. Typically I have it with peanut butter stirred in but I'm trying to eat "healthier!" Ha! :)

What I ate on 7/24/10

Same old same old. Had a weight watchers lasagna lunch. They were on sale and it was pretty filling. I went to a weight watchers site and realized I'm allowed only about 18 or 19 points. Man! Not that I have any interest in giving them one thin dime of mine.

What I ate on 7/23/10

Two days at 137. No I haven't dropped a pound in three weeks! I guess one really does have to eat less and not just better if one wants to lose weight. I have a new, healthy respect for the Angelina Jolies and the Gwenyth Paltrows of the world. I don't know how one starves oneself without going absolutely mad!

Last night, F and I walked to a Mexican restaurant in East Harlem and I had the enchiladas. It was the cheapest thing on the menu. I guess I could have ordered something healthier. She just ordered the rice and beans. Oy!

I did have a cappuccino that I didn't take a picture of. And I told her that our diets were verboten; no food talk!

What I ate on 7/22/10

I eat a lot of carbs. I went to interg last night and a lot of food was "foisted" on me: the orange candy slice, the small bit of Indian food and the chocolate chip cookie. All my food is "brown" or yellow. Three sandwiches and three bananas. Man, bananas are like eating cookies! I gotta green up my eating today.

I was back up to 137 yesterday; the bloat goes up and the bloat goes down.

what I ate on 7/21/10

I'm wearing this "diet" like a lose garment. I have no boundaries and no no-nos. I ate a lot of carbs yesterday; roommate made scones and I had one. Then, I was starved so had a regular (old-style) lunch of two beef and bean frozen burritos: my food pellets.

I went to a meeting and they had cookies and candy and I can't believe I didn't have any; mainly because I couldn't whip out a camera and start taking pictures so just eschewed it. It was just chips ahoy and nonsense like that.

Afterward, I went out with some people and got the cheapest thing on the menu: a Boca Burger with sweet potato fries. It was something I would have ordered anyway. Maybe I didn't need to eat the whole thing. I sat next to a thin Asian chick who picked at her food.

I wish I could pick at my food.

Loneliness

"Women have more feelings of empathy for other people than men do (though women and men have about the same degree of empathy for animals, whatever that means). In fact, for both men and women—and this finding struck me as highly significant—the most reliable predictor of not being lonely is the amount of contact with women. Time spent with men doesn't make a difference." —Gretchen Rubin

What I ate on 7/20/10

Yesterday was a not-so-great day. I ate the small cup of ice cream and then decided to just polish off the quart and be done with it. Stop obsessing over it. So I just sat in the living room and enjoyed it. Then, I was still hungry so had a lunch-meat sandwich and a peanut butter honey rice cake and glass of milk for dessert. That seemed to finally sate me. I was able to enjoy my evening of reading.

Roommate made scones last night after I went to bed and there are three in the kitchen now. Scones aren't a big problem for me (chocolate chip cookies would be or muffins). I'll definately have one!

What I ate on 7/19/10

So far, I don't think I've lost a pound. I'm down to 135 again but at this point it's all just water weight or loss--which is frustrating. I ran yesterday for the first time in days: only 27 minutes. It was hot and I wasn't that into it and my play list wasn't very good.

I have an interview with a temp agency today for possible placement at an ad agency. I don't have high hopes. These things never work out. But it's important to leave the house and be in the world. I really have to make leaving the house a priority.

You can't always get what you want: but if you try sometimes you just might find you can get what you need.

That doesn't mean much here but it's what's on the stereo now.

I really like taking pictures of everything I eat and using my photoshop first thing in the morning. :)

What I ate on 7/18/10

My friend F and I walked to City Island--all the way to the end for Johnny's Reef. I got us a basket of shrimp and fries to share (although I could have easily polished off my own basket) and then afterward we walked up to the ice-cream parlor for stingy scoops of ice cream. She got it in a cup to avoid the cone calories (good thinking although I do love me a cone!)

What I ate on 7/17/10

I'm getting really lazy with the diet, but not so much. Most things I'm eating are non-processed. The bread is diet bread at 40 calories a slice. The soup and chicken dish I made myself (with some processed food stuffs). And the ice cream is processed food. But carrots and apples and peanuts oh my!

I'm not hating on myself so much anymore. Yesterday, I was back down to an all right 135 something.

My friend F is coming to visit me today and we're going to walk to City Island for sea food at Johnny's Reef. Yay!